The Waiting Game

I will be the first one to admit that I've had a hard time being patient with this pregnancy. From having to wait a month to take the initial pregnancy test-to getting the results felt like an eternity(even though it was less than 10 minutes). Then transferring from my old insurance to my new policy-which took over a MONTH of waiting just to hear that I was actually accepted-and accepted two weeks ago. Someone just forgot to mail the paperwork. That means that the ultrasound I should have had by now has been postponed-twice. I am still waiting for my new membership information to come in the mail so I can FINALLY book that ultrasound.

After having the chemical pregnancy and losing the first baby somewhere between 3-4 weeks while not even knowing I was pregnant-a lot has been on my mind with this pregnancy. I am starting my 10th week without having heard a heartbeat, seen a doctor or having and kind of reassurance. That has been really rough at times. I want desperately to hear for myself that little heartbeat and see that sweet baby. I want to know that he or she is ok. For those wondering, I am eagerly anticipating the day we get to find out if we are having a boy or girl. I think my mom and Elise are just as eager. No waiting for a surprise here : ) The baby itself was enough of a surprise.

This morning I was pretty frustrated because I've been having the hardest time finding an OB that delivers at the hospital we were assigned to. Not only is that where my insurance covers the entire birth but it's literally right across the street. Those are blessings I feel I took for granted at first. After searching forever, getting frustrated and feeling like it was a lost cause I just stopped. I calmed down and prayed(what a concept). Being the planner/detail oriented/lover of all things organized-I wanted things on my perfectly prepared checklist to be marked off at light speed. Who am I to tell God what time table I should be operating on? I am grateful that this baby came to us so easily and peacefully and I know this baby will continue through this process the same way. I just have to get out of the way and slow myself down.

After calming down and letting the peace of God take control again, I immediately found her. The perfect OB. After touring the birth center we originally hoped to deliver at, we concluded would not be able to afford the birth there. Knowing we would have a hospital delivery(insert disappointment here)-I had some real reservations. It was not an ideal situation(so we thought), but it was the one God gave us-so it was perfect, even if we didn't think so yet. This morning I found out just how perfect it is.

I spent a lot of time researching this OB that I finally found, and reading all of her great reviews and birth testimonials. I soon came across something in her profile. She highly encourages all of her patients to try to have a totally NATURAL birth. What? Really? She is a state certified midwife and her nurses are all CNMs(certified nurse midwives). She specializes in alternative hospital births that don't follow the normal intervention schedules unless medically needed as a last resort. WOW! I guess God really does know the desires of my heart-haha. She is a firm believer in breast feeding, the importance of mother/child bonding right away, and was a huge part in changing hospital policy to keep mother and baby in the same room at all times. The birthing suites at the hospital are beautiful and practical and have all the necessary equipment. Another huge bonus-the hospital is a level 3 NICU and pediatric center-so in case of emergency the baby wouldn't have to be transferred to another hospital. I love that!

I spent a long time on the phone with this OB today and I am thrilled to be able to be under her care. I just have to wait 7-10 days to get my insurance paperwork in the mail, then I can go meet this lady and sweet baby P.

Every day I am reminded how faithful and generous God is. I can't believe I sometimes doubt his abilities, when I've seen Him work so powerfully in my life. He is more than gracious and it is humbling to watch my wishes-down to the smallest detail play out-in HIS time frame. I'm not only grateful that He gave us another baby, but that He cares for this baby in ways that teach me more about Him. Continue to keep us all in your prayers.

Love,

Lyd and baby P.



It is no coincidence that this passage was part of my devotional today.


Proverbs 3

Wisdom Bestows Well-Being

1 My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.

3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]

7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.
8 This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.

9 Honor the LORD with your wealth,
with the firstfruits of all your crops;
10 then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
and your vats will brim over with new wine.

11 My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline,
and do not resent his rebuke,
12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.[b]

13 Blessed are those who find wisdom,
those who gain understanding,
14 for she is more profitable than silver
and yields better returns than gold.
15 She is more precious than rubies;
nothing you desire can compare with her.
16 Long life is in her right hand;
in her left hand are riches and honor.
17 Her ways are pleasant ways,
and all her paths are peace.
18 She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her;
those who hold her fast will be blessed.

19 By wisdom the LORD laid the earth’s foundations,
by understanding he set the heavens in place;
20 by his knowledge the watery depths were divided,
and the clouds let drop the dew.

21 My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight,
preserve sound judgment and discretion;
22 they will be life for you,
an ornament to grace your neck.
23 Then you will go on your way in safety,
and your foot will not stumble.
24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
25 Have no fear of sudden disaster
or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
26 for the LORD will be at your side
and will keep your foot from being snared.

27 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
when it is in your power to act.
28 Do not say to your neighbor,
“Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you”—
when you already have it with you.
29 Do not plot harm against your neighbor,
who lives trustfully near you.
30 Do not accuse anyone for no reason—
when they have done you no harm.

31 Do not envy the violent
or choose any of their ways.

32 For the LORD detests the perverse
but takes the upright into his confidence.
33 The LORD’s curse is on the house of the wicked,
but he blesses the home of the righteous.
34 He mocks proud mockers
but shows favor to the humble and oppressed.
35 The wise inherit honor,
but fools get only shame.

Enjoying the Little Things

This morning during my prayer time I had an intense wave of peace and joy wash over me. There have been so many thoughts and fears that were starting to get to me the last few days and today they are all gone. I felt like a huge load had been lifted and I just thanked God for his peace.

Having the chemical pregnancy really caused me to be fearful of my future pregnancies. I was unsure if I could or would have another chemical or healthy pregnancy. It makes it hard to believe this one is going so well; too well, maybe? I had been waiting for something to happen, something to go wrong...but nothing. Next week I have my first ultrasound, and honestly, I've been terrified. The last ultrasound I had resulted in devastation and being told I might not be able to get pregnant in the future. Just the thought of laying on that table and having to wait for the heartbeat made me sick. What if there was no heartbeat? What is there was no baby? I can't handle going through that again...and yet, God knows all of those fears. He knows what I went through and how it hurt me. He knows this baby better than I ever will, and He knows exactly what to say to get me to snap out of my self centered thoughts and come take comfort in Him.

This morning I was really excited about the ultrasound. The fears are gone and the joy of my situation has returned. God is in control. He made this sweet baby that I will have the privilege of getting to see. We didn't have to try for months or years-we were actually pregnant when we started trying-so we didn't have to try at all. We didn't have to struggle with the disappointment of infertility issues and difficulty conceiving. We are beyond blessed and God's timing is perfect. Even if it means being 8 and 9 months pregnant in the Arizona summer...I will rejoice and be glad in a kiddy pool filled with ice. : )

I will leave you how I plan on keeping cool in the summer(until the pool water turns to bath water on the crazy days).

Achy Belly and Birth Center

I am really exhausted today. It is SO cold outside and I can't help but snuggle up on the couch under a blanket with a fire going. Tucker is happy to have me sitting down and thrilled that I let him share my blanket. Truthfully, he is keeping me warm and I love his sweet snuggles. I know he will have a hard time adjusting when the baby is here, but he really is wonderful with babies. He is a sweetie!


Aside from being tired and my belly slightly aching I feel great. I was told that because of my chemical pregnancy being so recent I will probably get my "baby bump" earlier. I know they were right, because I can feel it!

Yesterday's appointment with the midwife was fabulous. We looked around the center and learned about the suites and what a pregnancy and delivery would look like there. At one point the midwife turned to Carlos and said, "So, why do you want your wife to have her baby here?" Carlos quickly came back with, "Because my wife knows way more about this than I do, and it's what she wants-so it's what I want!" Hahaha-the midwife thought that was hilarious. I fell in love with the midwife and the place; there is only one problem. We can't afford it. My insurance will pay for a hospital birth but not a birthing center. BUMMER! The center birth would cost $3,750.00 for absolutely everything, but it is due before my 28th week. I know that whatever God wants us to do will work out and be fine, but I can't say that I'm not going to pray we find a way to deliver at the birthing center. I am hoping for a natural birth with no medications or interventions. I am very sensitive to medications, and believe that a center would be a healthier and happier birth for me and the baby; but I also believe that God knows my heart. He knows what my preference is and our financial position. He knows this baby better than I EVER will and I can trust Him to provide for the center or guide us through a natural hospital birth. Either way, I think being obedient is the most important thing. We believe in being debt free and not going into debt for personal preference. Right now I am praying and asking for clear direction and patience. We have a little while before a decision needs to be made and I know God's timing is never like mine : )
If you'd like to join us in praying about this, you are more than welcome!

Love to all,

Lyd and baby P.