Enjoying the Little Things

This morning during my prayer time I had an intense wave of peace and joy wash over me. There have been so many thoughts and fears that were starting to get to me the last few days and today they are all gone. I felt like a huge load had been lifted and I just thanked God for his peace.

Having the chemical pregnancy really caused me to be fearful of my future pregnancies. I was unsure if I could or would have another chemical or healthy pregnancy. It makes it hard to believe this one is going so well; too well, maybe? I had been waiting for something to happen, something to go wrong...but nothing. Next week I have my first ultrasound, and honestly, I've been terrified. The last ultrasound I had resulted in devastation and being told I might not be able to get pregnant in the future. Just the thought of laying on that table and having to wait for the heartbeat made me sick. What if there was no heartbeat? What is there was no baby? I can't handle going through that again...and yet, God knows all of those fears. He knows what I went through and how it hurt me. He knows this baby better than I ever will, and He knows exactly what to say to get me to snap out of my self centered thoughts and come take comfort in Him.

This morning I was really excited about the ultrasound. The fears are gone and the joy of my situation has returned. God is in control. He made this sweet baby that I will have the privilege of getting to see. We didn't have to try for months or years-we were actually pregnant when we started trying-so we didn't have to try at all. We didn't have to struggle with the disappointment of infertility issues and difficulty conceiving. We are beyond blessed and God's timing is perfect. Even if it means being 8 and 9 months pregnant in the Arizona summer...I will rejoice and be glad in a kiddy pool filled with ice. : )

I will leave you how I plan on keeping cool in the summer(until the pool water turns to bath water on the crazy days).